Parenting is arguably the toughest, most rewarding job on the planet. At Keystone Childcare, we see it all—the joyful giggles, the frustrating meltdowns, and the quiet, sweet moments of connection. We know you’re doing your best, and we want to share some thoughts on how to make this incredible journey a little smoother and more fulfilling, for the whole family!
Choosing Connection Over Correction
It’s natural to jump into “fix-it” mode when your child is misbehaving. We want the tantrum to stop, the toy to be shared, or the dinner to be eaten. But often, the most effective tool isn’t a stern voice or a time-out; it’s connection.
When your child is struggling emotionally, they need to feel safe and understood. Try shifting your focus from what they are doing to why they might be doing it. A simple action like kneeling down to their level, making eye contact, and saying, “I see you’re feeling really frustrated right now,” can de-escalate a situation faster than you’d think!
A Simple Shift: Aim for a few minutes of one-on-one, uninterrupted time with your child every day. Put the phone down. Let them choose the activity—cuddle, read a book, build a tower. This dedicated time fills their “connection cup” and often leads to better behavior throughout the day.
Setting Boundaries with Empathy
Children thrive on structure, and boundaries are essential for teaching them how the world works. But setting a boundary doesn’t have to be a battle. The key is to be firm on the boundary, flexible on the emotion.
For example, if your child is crying because they can’t have another cookie:
- The Boundary: “I know you want another cookie, but we’ve finished snack time for the day. The answer is no.”
- The Empathy: “It’s okay to feel sad or upset when you can’t have what you want. I get it. It’s disappointing.”
A Simple Shift: When you acknowledge their disappointment while holding the line, you teach them that their feelings are valid and that rules must be followed. This builds emotional intelligence and self-regulation skills.
Modeling the Behavior You Want to See
Children are constantly watching us. They are little scientists, observing our reactions to rush-hour traffic, how we talk to a cashier, and how we handle stress. This means one of the most powerful teaching tools we have is our own behavior.
If you want your child to learn patience, they need to see you demonstrate patience. If you want them to apologize when they make a mistake, they need to see you apologize (especially to them).
A Simple Shift: Did you snap because you were stressed? Here’s a teachable moment to give an explanation and apology: “I’m sorry I used a grumpy voice. Mommy/Daddy was feeling frustrated, and that wasn’t kind, can you forgive me?” Focus on being a real parent, not a perfect parent. This shows them how to navigate big feelings and mistakes gracefully.
Remember to Put on Your Own Oxygen Mask First
Just as the flight attendant instructs you to secure your own oxygen mask before helping others in the event of an emergency, the same instruction applies to parenting. You cannot pour out from an empty cup.
A Simple Shift: Make time for a 15-minute walk outside, set your phone down and pick up a craft project, change up your usual routine and try a new workout, plan a night out with friends (make sure your spouse puts a date on the calendar for their turn too!) or simply say “no” to an extra commitment.
When you take steps to manage your own stress and make time for self-care, you model for your children what it looks like to be a more patient, present, and joyful parent.
Take Care
From all of us at Keystone Childcare, remember this: You are the expert on your child, and your love is the most powerful influence in their life! Be gentle with yourself on the tough days. Celebrate the small victories. We’re here to support you every step of the way. Schedule a tour of our center today!